


Your Eyes on Me

by Cindymint



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Anal Fingering, Aziraphale deserves all the pillows and plushies, Aziraphale is Spoiled, Butt Plugs, Camming, Dildos, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Food Porn, Hand Jobs, Humor, Idiots in Love, Innocent Aziraphale...?, Jealousy, Light-Hearted, Loss of Powers, M/M, Masturbation, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Pet Names, Pillow Principality Aziraphale (Good Omens), Possessive Crowley, Praise Kink, Service Top Crowley (Good Omens), Sex Toys, Sex Toys Under Clothing, Smut, Sugar Baby Aziraphale (Good Omens), Sugar Daddy Crowley (Good Omens), camboy Aziraphale, this is very horny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:08:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25805638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cindymint/pseuds/Cindymint
Summary: When Heaven reprimands Aziraphale's frivolous use of miracles now that he's living a comfortable life after the Armagedidn't, he tries his best to reserve them only for absolute emergencies.Because of this, he soon realizes he needs to find ways of making money since he's been so used to miracling any amount he needs right into his pockets.He discovers camming and, not quite understanding the true nature of this type of work, decides to give it a try. He quickly finds himself in over his head when a very generous patron asks for a private show, and their requests get more and more involved as his sessions go on.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 125
Kudos: 208
Collections: Top Crowley Library





	1. Easing Into it

**Author's Note:**

> This is just an excuse to write some smut and jealous!Crowley, and here is ya'll's daily reminder that sex work and/or cam work is VALID and this fic isn't meant to shame anybody who does/likes it! There's a bit of mocking the subject of it in this just to stay in character, but just know I am 100% for adults doing whatever the fuck they like with their bodies. Thank u for coming to my Ted Talk .3.
> 
> Also...per usual, expect inaccuracies. I dunno shit about camming but damnit I loved this idea so here it is!! >:I

Crowley felt the weight of Aziraphale's bad mood the moment he walked in, wincing at the metaphysical wall of shame and despair he passed through. The shop looked almost as bad as his friend, all the furniture strangely dusty and dull, books and papers coating the floor- well, more so than usual. At least there was usually some structure to it.

He tip-toed his way through the mess, trying to grin down at a very depressed looking angel, who was laying on his side next to an unlit fireplace. He sure was glad the store wasn't open, or else Aziraphale would probably scare off all the customers with no help on the demon's part, and that'd put him out of his favorite job.

"Hey there, sore eyes. What's with the long face?" he teased down at him, trying to lighten the mood even a little. The angel just met him with a blank look, eyes sunken and wet from crying his heart out. Well, this was a bad start.

"...I'm not in the mood, Crowley," he muttered from behind his arm, face squished against the carpet. "Go wile someone else's wiles...will? Go will someone's wiles or...no...oh..." Well, he was  _ very _ drunk. Crowley looked down at a large bottle of alcohol, which had tipped over, coating the rug. 

"Someone's had too many drinks." He bent down and sat beside him, patting him on the head. "Come on now, get it out of your system and tell me what's wrong." 

"I can't. They told me...told me I was too fwrivv-vo-o-lllllss. Used my miracles too much."

"Ah, Heaven? Finally got tired of you snapping your finger for every little convenience?"

"Obvioushly. Now I can't so mucch as sptart a fire, or clean my store. It's sho cold in here..." It  _ was _ freezing, now that the demon stopped to really focus. Being a creature of Hell had certain upsides, including a natural internal temperature of exactly boiling point. It was midway through Winter and the store didn't have much in the way of heating, old as it was. 

He walked over to the sofa and grabbed a shawl, tossing it down to the heap of an angel and kneeling back down. "Hey now, s'not all that bad, is it? They were probably just running a checkup on miracle use recently, saw all your...ah, receipts, as it were. They'll forget all about it in a week or two."

"They won't. They won't, they were so disssdpointed, Crowy." he tried to say, voice slurring even worse. "Mmm'such a bad angel. All I do is bad things, being bad all the time like, like-hm. Like you. Or what you're spposshed to be."

"Uhuh." he sighed, miracling a fire to roar to life on the logs in front of them. Aziraphale looked a little less depressed now but was still sniffling like he had a cold. Crowley hated it when he got like this; when an angel got down in the dumps-well, this angel, anyway- the world around them paid dearly. The whole store felt like it had its own personal plague. "Don't worry so much about it. If worst comes to worst, you have me. I can do anything you need."

"No, I've already asked so much of you over these years. I can't have you at my beck and call, any little time I want to run to the bakery or clean my store, restore a mug when it breaks...oh dear, I really have become spoiled from my miracles, haven't I? I've been abusing them for my own selfish reasons."

"Angel, stop it with that. You've survived through what  _ almost _ was the end of the world, you deserve to relax." He slowly pet Aziraphale's hair, enjoying the sensation of running his fingertips through soft curls. He could do this as much as he pleased without one reprimand about mussing his tidiness, and he was going to make the most of it. He cupped the angel's cold cheek to give it some warmth, feeling his shivers subside as the fire danced in front of them.

"Even so, I feel terrible. I need to str doing things in a more human way I shupposhh... they go through every day without such con-conveni-enccss." Crowley tried to come up with a response but it died in his throat, seeing how determined Aziraphale was to punish himself. "I'll make my own money, put labor into my days instead of lazing about in my bookssshh. This will be good fr me."

"Fine, if you're that set on it. Still, if you need anything...I'm never far. I never have been." He meant those words. It surprised him he much he did, how proud it made him feel when he finally said it. Aziraphale must know deep down that he had a special power over him, that if he just asked, Crowley would do anything for him.

"That's very kind of you, but I promish I'll manage." He smiled up at him, a brilliant sight- all for a moment, before his eyes fluttered shut and he dozed off with a soft snore. Crowley scooped his head up into his lap and wrapped the blanket snugly around him, chuckling quietly. Poor bastard, getting all worked up over something like this. He'd forget about it soon enough, just let the demon take care of him. As he always had, really.

*

Aziraphale was hiding something, he knew it. The demon had been peering at him from behind a book, pretending to read- very badly, in fact, realizing he'd been holding it upside down this whole time. A month had gone by since the angel's downward spiral into despair, and though he'd been gloomy for weeks now, he was finally starting to look a bit more lively. Normally Crowley would've thought it was the boxes of pastries and cups of thick cocoa he'd been planting all around the store to lift the angel's spirits, using as many excuses as it took to be somewhat casual about it. No, this was something else. A sparkle in Aziraphale's eye, a glint of something he should know well by now.

He'd had been doing everything in his power to convince his friend that it was alright to ask for help, that he could depend on him for the things he needed if Heaven wasn't going to supply them. He couldn't stand self-loathing, especially not from someone as blameless as Aziraphale. 

Ever since their body swap, Heaven had been trying to rule over the angel as best they could, even if they wouldn't try to come after him anymore. Telling him he was "abusing" limitless power was one way. Hell on the other hand didn't give a single damn what the demon did in his spare time, as long as he finished any assignments on time, so really it was convenient to use his own miracles for the angel's benefit as well as his own. Not at all because it meant he'd have an excuse to spend more time with him. That would be stupid, wouldn't it?

He was currently sitting on the other end of the foyer, watching the angel pace around and pretend he was actually cleaning. Crowley had already taken care of that, and now he was "checking for specs he might've missed", or something along those lines. He wanted to say something, he could see it in every excited little wiggle.

"You seem awfully energetic today, angel." he murmured, tossing the book aside casually, stretching backward in his seat. A customer passed by and he hissed quietly at them, wondering if he'd have to chase them off later; it was amazing anyone actually tried to buy books from this store anymore, not after seeing its rating on Yelp- which he'd contributed to personally and had an absolute blast with. "Can't help but notice. Did you have an epiphany over breakfast or something?"

"Oh, ah...not exactly," he replied quietly when he glanced over, face a little...pink. Pinker than usual, cheeks a nice rosy hue. It suited him, he thought, though it made the demon more suspicious. "You know how I told you I was looking over jobs I might take?"

"What, you finally decided to give  _ selling _ _ books _ a go?"

"No, definitely not. Um...well I may have found something, but I'm going to look into it a little more beforehand..." He was even more flushed now, adjusting his tie like he felt warm. Crowley stood up from his chair, thoroughly invested. "It's...a sort of acting you see. Rather, a livestream, where you perhaps interact with an audience."

"Don't tell me you've started a channel on YouTube or something, doubt you'd make much money that way, least not at the beginning. Book reviews don't get all that many clicks." he chuckled, walking closer,  _ very  _ interested in how Aziraphale kept glancing to the side, all bashful. "Come on, I want details. Is it a medieval re-enactment? Poetry? Wine tastings?" 

"It's...it's a kind of, well, a service to others. Others who may enjoy seeing other people in...ah...a state of...undress." Crowley's mouth gaped when the angel stopped talking, the realization hitting him like a brick. His stomach dropped, the room feeling much more claustrophobic. 

** "What?!" ** he snapped, harsher than he meant, so loud it vibrated the ground beneath them. A human looked over in confusion and he used the opportunity to drag the angel back to the study, slamming the door behind them, yelling 'Fuck off, we're closed!' over his shoulder. 

He took a long breath, face stuck in a dark scowl, tapping his foot so fast his shoe could've caught fire. Aziraphale was fidgeting with his vest, shame evident on his face, and oh, that face was so soft and flushed, the milky hue of his skin contrasting beautifully. He didn't have the right to look that cute after bringing up something like this. "Look, angel...you don't know what you're getting into. The kind of viewers you'd get...they're not standard edition. They aren't there to give you tips on baking cupcakes."

"Well, I've heard you can make quite a good amount of money from doing such a simple act. It's not as if I have much of a reservation of revealing myself in such a way to a willing party if it's going to result in currency." So he was just admitting to wanting to become a  _ camboy _ . "I need to build my own source of income that isn't reliant on miracles. I need to earn it myself. This kind of job is one I can do on my own schedule, and I believe the sessions aren't very long. It's something I can do at night and have the day free to read and go on picnics with you!" Aziraphale was...an absolute bastard, making it actually sound like a good idea.

He wasn't going to stand for it.

" ** No ** ." he growled, shaking his head quickly. "Don't get yourself mixed up in anything like that. S'all a bunch of scams and viruses, really. You wouldn't know the first thing about the technology involved. You don't have the equipment, the experience, the following..." The idea of a bunch of strangers seeing hi- _ the _ angel completely  _ naked _ was infuriating. Humans, of all things, people who'd never done a thing to deserve to see an inch of Aziraphale aside from throwing him a few quids. "Besides, you really want to spread your legs for a whole lot of perverts, lowlifes...you want people like that to  _ wank  _ to the sight of you?!" The blush on the angel's face grew, a look of shock blooming.

"Crowley, I believe it is well within my right to do as I please. What humans do with such content isn't my concern. I hardly see a reason not to."  _ A reason not to?! Aziraphale, I'm your reason  _ **_ not to.  _ ** No. Absolutely not. Nobody was allowed to see him in such a way, using his innocence for their own pleasures, people who could never appreciate how gorgeous he really was. He was an angel, for Hell's sake! Humans shouldn't even be allowed to look at him fully clothed. 

"Angel, this is a  _ terrible _ idea." he snarled, crossing his arms determinedly. "Why not...I don't know, baking? Floral arrangements, anything but this. I promise whatever you choose we'll have plenty of time for picnics. In fact, I'll make sure of it, every single day we'll do something different, something you love, and you won't have to take off your trousers for random people to pleasure themselves over." Aziraphale looked conflicted but stubborn, shaking his head quickly.

"At least let me try it. It'd be so convenient if it worked out! I've heard good things about it from Miss Tracy and-"

"Oh so  _ she's _ the one to blame this idea on!" he growled, making a note to show up at her house later with a basket full of spiders. "I should've known as much."

"It's  _ my _ choice, however." he huffed back, his angry voice too soft and adorable to take seriously. "You may be right, it might all backfire on me, and-and if that's the case I'll let you gloat as you wish. Still, I'm going to give it a go, and that is final."

Crowley was about to come up with another retort before an idea popped in his head. A wicked, utterly evil idea that surely Hell would be pleased about. They wouldn't know, though, nobody would know a thing about it. "...Alright then."

"What-really? You're not going to protest?"

"Well, it is your choice, after all, as you've made clear so gracefully." He started walking across the room and opened the door, waving back at a very confused angel. "Whatever, suit yourself. I won't stand in the way of your grand ideas, angel. Just do whatever you want. You know yourself better than I do..."

*

Aziraphale sat on his bed, the light had faded from the world outside. It left his flat in a soft glow of lamps. The tiny room around was enough to work with, he thought, and the snugness helped calm his nerves somehow as if an enclosed space could hide him better. He wasn't technically doing anything wrong; after all, She had made bodies unique and each was crafted with the utmost care. Humans loved them so much they carved statues out of stone just to capture their own image. Crowley's words had left him a little hurt, and he kept catching himself closing the computer to give up the idea completely, but...no, he was at least going to try it.

He had found the website LoveCamz while searching through random job listings, after going through dozens of pages on his browser. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't at least a bit rash, knowing full well his time on Earth had made him rather lazy, and such a job seemed almost too good to be true. So, he'd show a bit of skin, and this could somehow amount to earning money. He wouldn't have to do much at all, and then he'd get to spend the rest of his time however he wanted. 

The site was hard to sort through, flashing ads of scantily-clad men and women drenched vibrant neon pink and red lights. Humans were so strange about what they considered attractive...He'd spent some time making an account and figuring out how to start a live session. He was borrowing Crowley's laptop, which thankfully the demon had been more than happy to lend him, and wiped his finger over the webcam. He tried out a test session, just tilting his face and seeing how it reflected. It was a modern computer, outfitted with the technological advances of the current year, much different than his own desktop downstairs, so it took much getting used to. 

He ended up beginning a livestream without meaning to, realizing it'd started when he saw a little red "live" sign on the bottom of the screen. He squeaked and frantically looked for a way to stop it immediately, before realizing he didn't have any viewers yet. Alright, so...maybe he wasn't ready for this. Maybe tomorrow or the day after would be better...

No, no. He was determined to make his own living one way or another, and this was so simple! Yes, he...didn't exactly look the way a majority of the other models did, not up to par with the current human standard of what was considered attractive, but what of it! There had to be someone who was going to enjoy viewing this. 

He fiddled around with the computer on the bed, trying to angle it so he was actually in line with the camera. He huffed and pushed a couple of books off the bed, setting them on top of the messy stacks beside it, constantly looking back to check if anybody had started watching yet. Minutes passed. He waited. Thirty minutes passed. He waited.

Eventually, though, someone did show up, and he stifled a gasp when he saw a little message on the chatbox that someone was writing. He adjusted his tie and gave his best smile, unsure of what to do really. 

_ "The fuck is this?"  _ they wrote, and Aziraphale's grin faltered, wondering what they meant.

"Oh, hello there! I'm trying out this service for the first time, please don't mind the somewhat messy setup."

_ "Piss off grandpa,"  _ Fingerme427 said. The angel ruffled with indignation and quickly hit the block button, quite aware of the existence of a subgroup of people on the internet known as "trolls". He wasn't going to let their hateful words get to him, clearing his throat and resuming his wait. He waited ten more minutes, having picked up a book and started flipping through it.

Another user by the name of Creampiemaniac began writing, soon posting yet another rude comment _ : "Hey look, someone's father hijacked the stream. Shouldn't you be fucking a history book, old man?" _ He bristled and swatted the block button again, starting to feel the weight of his actions.

So...maybe Crowley was right about this. He wasn't really cut out for this kind of thing. It could simply be bad luck, but then again he didn't look at all prepared to do anything humans might deem pornographic in nature. He looked down at his dusty old vest, his modest shirt, his plump belly beneath, then back at the advertisements of girls in bikinis.

He hovered his cursor over the exit button when a notification popped up on the screen, and he read in disbelief that someone had just paid him fifty pounds in a currency called "tokens". He audibly gasped before catching himself, unable to stop a wiggle of excitement at this new discovery. "Oh dear, oh my goodness, thank you so much!" 

The same username made a comment a few seconds later, under the name CoiledAroundU69. " _ You liked that? That's hardly anything." _

"No, it's quite generous of you." He wondered if the value of money had fluctuated without his notice recently. He could've sworn that was a lot... "To me, anyway. I'm very surprised is all."

_ "Mh. Cute." _ Aziraphale blushed slightly despite himself, flustering to think of a response _. _ Nobody had ever called him that before- well, aside from Crowley, but all those times he was very drunk. He hadn't been able to come up with a reply then either. "I _ could give you a lot more than that for a private showing, you know. If you're interested." _ The angel wasn't sure how to begin to think of an answer, realizing he didn't really even know what to do on such a livestream, to begin with. 

"I'd like to if only I knew how! I'm new to this site you see. I'm not very good with technology in general. I'm learning as I go." He shifted and adjusted his vest, clearing his dry throat a few times. 

_ "That's just fine. Take all the time you need. I'd be happy to show you how to do anything you don't understand." _

"My, that's very kind- hm, how do I...?" he squinted as he scanned the screen, looking for anything that said "private". "Oh, I think I-"

All of a sudden the regular chatbox disappeared, a lock icon on the top right of the screen, and he flushed as he realized he had the complete attention of the stranger. He looked at himself on the screen, hoping it didn't look too awkward. There was a bit of a blur from his movements, lagging ever so slightly. "Ah, goodness gracious, this is my first time. I'm not exactly sure how to start." There wasn't much of a show here; he was still fully clothed, and he'd heard people were, well, supposed to...well, not have any on. He wasn't sure if he could handle this after all. Spending so much time around humans and the concept of embarrassment had rubbed off on him.

He shifted around shyly, pretending to adjust something by the side of the bed, sweat drops beading up on his brow while the chatter wrote a reply. _ "Well, you could start by taking off your vest. Let me see you in just your shirt...but keep the bow tie, it's actually quite charming." _ Well, he didn't usually receive compliments on that aspect of his outfit, and it made him happier than it probably should've.  _ "Don't worry about a thing, I've got plenty of time. I have to say, I'm a little new here myself. I'm glad I spotted you. You're by far the most interesting person I've come across on this site thus far." _

Right. He wasn't supposed to feel special. The chatter had already seen loads of other people much more attractive than himself. Most likely just trying to be nice, warm him up to the conversation. "Thank you, I was a little worried after seeing a few other chatters. They left some rather nasty remarks." He finally began unbuttoning his vest, and then a notification popped up that he'd just been given another seventy pounds. His eyes shot open, his jaw gaping, staring at the screen as he'd just witnessed a miracle- well, not exactly the kind he was used to. "Oh goodness!"

_ "You're adorable, you know that? Getting all shocked over a little pocket change..."  _ Aziraphale blushed deeper, his face heating up under such attention. He pawed at the sides of his vest, feeling them slide down and puddle around his waist. He felt terrible, practically stealing the person's money like this, and realized he should be at least be...well,  _ doing _ something. " _ Oh yes, just like that. Just like that." _

He was a little conflicted. On one hand, She had never given any indication that this type of activity was against any kind of a rule...neither had Heaven, for that matter. His body was not much else than a vehicle, something to contain his essence, so it wouldn't technically be wrong to expose it a little, right? He hadn't seriously considered the notion till now, realizing the person on the other end of his screen probably wanted to... _ see _ him. 

"How much would you like to see?" he questioned, his vest now laying in his lap as he looked sideways at the floor, unable to look directly into the camera. He knew there were eyes on him, and even though many people had seen him in just his shirt of course, well, the circumstances were very different now. "I suppose you're the one who decides, hm?"

_ "It's your first day, so I won't press you too hard, angel." _ Aziraphale's face went impossibly redder when he read that last word, trying to get rid of the images of Crowley that filled up his mind in a flash. "Angel" was a common name humans used in anonymity, and it was meant to be a casual pet name. Something to lighten the mood, perhaps. Oh dear, he was already overthinking things.  _ "How about this: undo two buttons. I want to see your collarbone. Can you do that?" _

"Y-yes!" he all but squeaked, heart beating as he realized he'd just been given a real request. How much more was to come? 

His hands shakily grasped at the top button and for a moment he struggled to release it from the light blue fabric, mind reeling under the watch of another. He was very much aware that his every movement was being viewed, judging how fast and graceful his actions were, and he didn't know if he was doing anything right at all. The other button was unfastened soon enough, and he was able to feel how hot his skin was beneath. It took a lot of work to get his collar down through the tie, using both hands to hook his fingers under and force it through.

"Is that okay?" he asked, smoothing the two sides of his collar back so the person could get a better look. His bow tie felt more like an animal collar now that his shirt wasn't directly beneath it, and he let his hands fell down to his lap so he'd force himself to stop adjusting.

He got another notification that he'd received a hundred pounds, and his whole body froze up. "That's- that's too much! You must've mistaken the total, is there any way to refund that much for you?"

_ "Haha. I could listen to you talk like that all day." _ the response came, causing the angel's heart to pick up as he remembered to shut his mouth. _ "Don't be so modest. You deserve every penny for letting me watch...and I'd like to see more soon if that's okay. It's late and I know you must be a busy man so I won't keep you any longer tonight. _ " A regular! He'd heard about those, and how hard it was to come across one in the first place, much more so on just day one.  _ "Doubt any of the other wankers in chat would love to watch you as much as I do. Maybe another private session? I'll pay double." _ **_ Double?!  _ **

He was used to utilizing miracles to pay for everything, but in the last month, he'd realized how hard it was to get money without such convenience. The person on the other end must've been incredibly well to do, either that or they didn't know just how much they were giving away...He thought better than to question it, face beaming into a bright smile.

"Of course! Just set the date and time, and I'll fill you in on my schedule." A schedule was a thing he only vaguely acknowledged, really, but he wanted to appear professional. 

*

Aziraphale proudly looked at his total earnings, eyes sparkling as he bounced with excitement. He hardly noticed when his phone rang on his nightstand, startling at the noise. 

"Oh, hello? Oh-oh, Crowley!" he chirped into the microphone, kicking his feet out over the mattress. "You'll never guess what just happened!"

"Wot, you gave birth to an aardvark? There's snot coming from the pipes?"

"No, no. You remember what I told you about the website where you-ah, well, yes of course you remember- it went very well! I met this one person in the...what was it? The...oh! The chatroom- and they seemed to love my performance!"

"Really? That's a surprise."

"Yes, and they said they'd like to do it again soon! I think I've discovered a new profession. At least for a month or two, anyway, just till I accumulate a good amount."

"Good on you, angel. Call me an idiot then, seeing as you did so well. I guess you really are cut out for it." Aziraphale flushed with pride, another current of wiggles flowing through him without his notice. 

"Oh I wouldn't do that, dear, but that goes to show you how much you have to learn about us angels. We can do anything we set our minds to." He heard the demon chuckle on the other end, the casual yet breathy tone of it tickling his ear.

"Pretty sure you're the first one to do something like this."

"Well, yes, you're probably right about that." He heard some shifting on the other end, Crowley apparently in bed himself. The angel wondered if he'd been sleeping, waking up just to check on him. 

"You're free to keep my laptop as long as you like. Oh, and did you save the recording too?"

"Hm?"

"Most cam sites have an option to save a recording on a file on your computer after you're finished- you know, so you can go back and reference it for future shows. Just make a file and put them in there...don't worry, I'll walk you through it."


	2. Break the Ice

"So...are you enjoying all your extra 'free time' now?" Crowley teased, leaning back against a tree as he watched the angel sort through their picnic basket.

They were in the middle of absolutely nowhere, a dense forest without civilization for miles, and the demon was loving every minute of it. No noisy humans to get in their way, just Aziraphale's slightly sunburnt face, the contour of it shifting as he muttered while he searched for a tiny container of jam. Poor bastard wouldn't even spare a miracle to protect himself from the sun, so it was good they'd found a spot like this, under some nice heavy shade. "Worth getting naked for a stranger?"

"Well first off, I didn't do anything like that. My patron merely requested that I take off my vest and then undo two of the buttons of my shirt. It was a little odd, but I think they were perhaps being gentle with me as it was my first day. I appreciated that, I did." 

"Hardly makes sense. Wouldn't they want to get right to it? Isn't the modern age supposed to be about instant gratification and all of that shite?"

"No, they seemed quite easygoing. I suppose not everyone is in a hurry to...how did you phrase it?"

" _Get their wank on?"_

"Yes, yes. That. Not everyone would just demand I disrobe to sate themselves all at once, I'll have you know. I'm very fortunate to have someone like them instead of all those other mongrels, calling me such rude things... wouldn't you say?"

Crowley made a noise of agreement, hardly following the conversation. He was more busy picking bits of pollen out of the angel's hair, a perfect chance to rub his hands through it, sighing at the delicate softness. He could feel the warmth of his skull beneath and liked to compare it to his own scales after soaking in some sunlight. 

"Right, right, whatever you say angel...say, when are you supposed to let the bastard watch you again?"

"Later today, actually. Tonight when I get back to the store...I'm using this time to calm myself down enough for it I suppose, the whole matter's got me a bit nervous."

"Oh, _now_ you're getting embarrassed about it?"

"Yes, well, I don't know how much they want me to do. It _is_ modeling, after all. Acting, and I have to use some effort to make myself appear professional. I haven't acted in decades."

"If the bloke wants to watch you take off your clothes, I doubt they give a damn about professionalism. Maybe they just want to see you fluster, jumble over your own words. You're good at that."

"Oh!" he huffed, swatting the demon's hand away from his hair. "No need to bring that up. I know I'm not very good, but just you wait and see. I'm a quick learner, especially when I set my mind to it."

"...Say, what if they ask you to _really_ get yourself bare? What'd you do then?"

"Well, I guess I would...er, follow directions. If they're harmless requests, I don't see the problem."

"How far would you let it go? Surely you have limits."

"As far as they ask, I should think. I highly doubt they'd command me to break open a wall with a hatchet or set fire to all my books. I'm still unsure of what kinds of things invest humans, but I'm sure I can manage."

"Alright, guess you've got it all in control, huh? Move over-" He lurched out and zapped a mosquito as it buzzed by, proudly coming back down to the blanket to pull another sandwich from the basket. " _Still got it._ Well then, enjoy the rest of today. Sounds like you have a fun night planned out. I wouldn't _dare_ get in the way of that."

*

Crowley simmered with excitement as he opened up his computer- well, his other one. He had exactly as many as he wanted at any given time, which at the moment was three. One for the bedroom, one for his study, and one which was being borrowed by an angel for very un-angelic purposes. 

Oh, Aziraphale. What a strange being he was. How he could've possibly come up with an idea like this was beyond him, but he wasn't about to complain. His plan very going more than well. 

Everything had been impossibly easy, tricking the angel into taking his computer, which was laden with spyware. He hadn't invented that himself, but he'd spent enough time around professional hackers and other lowlifes to know a thing or two about remote viewing- that and he could just use a miracle whenever he wanted to see what was going on over on Aziraphale's side of the screen. He wasn't feeling guilty about it, after all, it _was_ his own computer and he _was_ a demon, so it was only logical to do something this evil. Poor Aziraphale, he'd walked right into his trap. 

The demon was lounging back in his throne, a grin he couldn't shake plastered on his face. He was absentmindedly sipping on some wine, not minding the few droplets that dripped down over his chin as he snickered behind his palm. Oh, he hadn't had this much fun for centuries. This was justice, a lesson to teach Aziraphale a thing or two about showing himself off to others, all those undeserving scum of the Earth. He wouldn't have any idea who he was till the demon was ready, and after that, he'd be compensated...somehow. 

The angel wasn't one to hold grudges, and he was sort of hoping enough pastries and invitations to shows and restaurants could get under whatever resentment might pop up. Either way, he wasn't about to feel shame for doing this. Aziraphale wanted money and he wanted people to watch him for whatever voyeuristic fascination he was suppressing under that sweet smile of his. That's what he was getting, right?

He straightened when he saw the stream had started, checking the clock and seeing that it was exactly eight. The angel seemed to have decided this was the right time to begin, not too early and not too late. Plenty of time left through the night to read.

_"Testing, 1...2...3..."_ Aziraphale murmured, unaware that he was being watched. From watch he could tell, there were still no viewers in the chatroom, and Crowley was going to make sure nobody else could find it. He was carefully hiding the stream in its own little encrypted server, or rather some void he'd created out of cyberspace just for the two of them. 

He watched the angel putter around the room, straightening his vest not once but four times, fluffing up his hair as if he could look somehow more presentable. He seemed apprehensive actually, and Crowley made a note not to go too hard on him tonight. Sure, he wanted to poke him around a bit, see how far he was willing to go for a stranger on the internet just to score a few pounds. He assumed the angel would break eventually, stammer out apology after apology and say he couldn't do it anymore. Well, if he wasn't a fictitious character, to begin with, he might've been disappointed, losing all that money for nothing.

Good thing the money was made out of nothing. Just a few tiny miracles to watch Aziraphale's face brighten up as if he'd somehow won some sort of game. It'd been so adorable to watch, not unlike the rest of the time he found ways to serve him. Something was exciting about being a mysterious admirer, showering the angel with praise and money- and oh, he had plenty of ideas for tonight.

"Hear you loud and clear." he finally wrote, adding himself to the chatbox with a flick of his thumb. Aziraphale's expression changed to a pleasant surprise, greeting him with a small "Hello again" and then a polite smile. He'd never gotten such a welcome when they met, slithering up behind him just to be ignored, albeit very badly. He hadn't gotten a smile right away, it took some work to get it out of him, and when he'd heard his first laugh, that was the first time he'd seen-what the fuck was his mind going on about? Now was not the time to be getting sentimental. 

He shook his head and began typing, trying to think of something stereotypical, something a horny human with a lot of time and money on their hands would say. "Hey again, angel." He slipped in the phrase casually enough, hoping it wasn't too suspicious. He'd heard plenty of blokes say the name in bars; strangers used it all the time. "I've been waiting to see you all day." That wasn't technically a lie. After their lunch he'd wandered back to his flat in an anticipating haze and sat himself down at his desk, waiting by the computer. For hours. A completely productive way to spend his day, seeing as sloth was part of his nature.

Aziraphale blushed a little, his expressions always so telling even through the webcam. He switched the stream to private, not that it changed anything really, but it was nice knowing the angel thought he was alone with the stare of this mysterious viewer.

_"Well, I hope you don't mind if I'm still getting used to things. I've tried practicing a little in the mirror, but I'm very rusty."_

"Practicing? What sort of things, hm?" he replied cheekily, wondering if Aziraphale stood in his bathroom just reciting things he might say. 

_"Oh, just um, you know. I haven't really gotten past the greeting part yet...but well, that's already done, isn't it?"_ he said, visibly shivering. It was obvious he was already having doubts. Maybe this wouldn't take long at all, he'd realize this was a stupid idea and leave the site for good, just to come back to Crowley. And he'd be waiting, waiting to calm him down from such an _embarrassing_ experience, help convince him he hadn't lost his decency for good.

"Indeed it is, and you did a grand job of it." He sloshed a cup of wine as he tried to take a drink from it, much too busy snickering behind his grin. "Are you ready?"

" _Yes_." he gave such a short reply, and Crowley could see him sucking on his lower lip thoughtfully. _"I suppose you just...tell me what to do? I'm not sure if I'm supposed to lead this session. Am I?"_

"It's enough just to watch you make such cute expressions." he wrote coyly, trying to come up with a few choice flirts he couldn't use on Aziraphale in his day-to-day. "I am lucky you decided to cam. I would never have been able to talk to you IRL. I'd probably have a heart attack the moment I saw you."

_"What does 'IRL' mean?_ " Fuck. **Fuck** he was adorable.

"In real life, angel. Hope that doesn't sound weird..." He wanted it to, he did. The sooner Aziraphale realized he was talking to some creepy bastard on the other side of his screen, the sooner they could go back to how things normally were. "I don't see people like you on the regular. I'd take you for the professor type, not a model- not that you aren't fit to be one, of course. I might say you're the most charming one I've come across." The angel's face lit up at that, beaming at the camera.

_"Oh, that's very kind of you. I wish I could believe that, though._ "

Hmpf, now he was questioning himself? Crowley would show him; he snapped his fingers and miracled roughly a hundred pounds to appear in the chasm of cyberspace between them, funneling through a channel of...well, he wasn't honestly sure how it worked himself, but the angel reacted with a jump and then a confused smile. _"Dear, please stop that! I'm grateful, but you shouldn't throw your hard-earned money around."_ Pff, so modest. The demon was going to put a stop to that.

"Now now, don't get too excited. I want you to use some of your earnings to get yourself some props.... maybe some toys," he wrote, a wicked smile curling his lips up. "For starters, get yourself some better lighting. It's hard to see you in that dim lamplight. I want to see all your curves," he added coyly, licking his teeth.

_"Alright, I'll...I'll make a note of that...uh, what do you mean by toys? Like, a stuffed animal?"_

"Not exactly, though now that you mention it, get a couple of those too, the nice big, soft kind half the size of your body. Pillows, blankets, things to surround yourself in. I want you comfortable for what's to come."

He was bit his tongue, glaring down as his cock twitched at the idea. He snapped his fingers and miracled it away, wanting every ounce of his wits about him without the extra distraction. "What I had in mind, though, are toys you use on your body. Or _inside_."

Aziraphale's face grew very pink, gulping visibly as he realized what he meant. Well, might as well take things up a notch, see if this would be his final straw. "Get yourself an assortment. I'll make sure to include plenty for everything you want. You're going to need to build up to what I'm going to have you do."

He hovered his fingers over the keyboard, wondering if this was a terrible idea or a wonderful one, but he began to type out the next sentence. This would show him. "I'll give you a few weeks to prepare, but well, my birthday's coming up soon and I'd very much like to watch you _fuck_ yourself."

The angel's eyes shot open, shock evident on his face. Oh, he was going to slam the computer shut, never look back. This was brilliant. "Get yourself a set of anal plugs. Your body needs time to adapt to the stretch- I want to make sure you can take a nice _thick_ toy inside. How's that sound?" Well it sounded incredibly crude, just how he'd intended. He couldn't wait to see the angel go on an angry rant, forget about all this nonsense and... go back to just being his angel. His _friend_ , he meant friend.

Aziraphale was completely silent, body frozen in place. Ok, so he might've gone a bit far, getting too caught up in one of his fantasies, looking down at his effort that was straining in his trousers, again. He erased it with a flick of his fingers again, cursing at his body for being so excited.

He might've traumatized the angel a bit, and well, that wasn't part of the plan at all. Just to ruffle him up a little, teach him a lesson. It was going off-script. "You don't have to, mind you," he added, giving him an easy way out. He wasn't one for confrontation, so a polite refusal would work best... "You don't seem experienced in this kind of thing, and you won't disappoint me by just saying 'no'. It's not something everybody likes."

_"...Okay,"_ he finally said, hardly making eye contact. Crowley wasn't sure if he'd heard him right, trying to see the feed better. _"Again, I'm...I'm very new to this, so I'm probably not going to be very grateful. You promise not to be too let down if I'm not all you expected?"_

The demon sat there in disbelief, his effort appearing back in place by itself yet again and threatening to fucking burst out of his trousers if he didn't pull down his fly, but he didn't move. _"I'll do my best if it's what you want. I don't think it'll be too difficult, people do it all the time after all...you'll just have to be patient with me."_

The best thing to do now...would be to ghost him. Crowley considered shutting his computer down and leaving Aziraphale there, thinking his secret admirer was just some scam after all. Maybe that'd teach him a lesson. He didn't want to, though, and his body wasn't about to let him give up this chance.

"You can take all the time in the world, angel, I will wait an eternity if I have to," he wrote, wondering if that was coming off a little strong. Just to seem more relaxed, he added "Of course I'd prefer not to...I'm already this hard and your clothes aren't even off."

Good, finally he sounded like a pervert, someone Aziraphale would detest.

_"I don't quite understand how that's even possible, but thank you, my dear."_

Crowley didn't know any human that would find this show even remotely sexual, Aziraphale now looking down at him with a terrible angle and shit lighting and the stupidest smile on his face but damn everything he was already pulling down his zipper, audibly cursing at his effort for being such an irritation. 

_"It's good to know you can find some enjoyment from this. I was so worried at first, but it seems I really shouldn't have been. I think I'll...think I'll be able to do what you ask of me, but um, remember that I'm not very experienced."_

As if that would matter, the demon thought with a scowl while he started palming himself through the thin fabric of his underwear. Aziraphale didn't need to put on a show to do this to him, he didn't need to do anything but talk and use those damned _eyes_ on him, agreeing to such ridiculous and perverted ideas like it was nothing but a little theater show with an audience of one. Maybe getting to hide behind a screen made him more confident.

"As I've said, you're doing just fine. Sure, there are plenty of things I'd like to see you do, but I also want you to feel comfortable. No point in shocking you with everything at once, right?" He managed to type out, one hand aggressively rubbing up against his length, growing slick with precum. "Do you even know how attractive you are? You keep apologizing for everything, but I'm lucky just to get to see your face." 

Fuck, he was getting much too invested in this, unbelievably aroused by just the sight of his blushing cheeks. No, this isn't what friends did. They didn't hide behind computer screens and wank to the sight of the other, fully clothed at that. So maybe Aziraphale had... popped into his thoughts from time to time while he was doing very indecent things to himself, but that was just his mind bringing up whatever images it could at the time. Of course, he'd think of someone he was close to. Someone who just happened to have extremely appealing thighs, a very soft and kissable face, and a voice that could fill his cock in seconds if he was enjoying a nice meal, moaning so obscenely. 

_"So...what would you like me to do? I have to repay you somehow."_

"Take your shirt off," he wrote in a flash, biting his hand for getting so careless. "I'd like you to do that on every stream from now on. I want to watch you undo every button, and I want you to look at me while you do it." He looked down at his hands in disbelief, shoving them under his armpits so they wouldn't run amok anymore. So he'd just typed that out, let his perverted little notion slip out into the chatbox, and he...and he...Aziraphale was doing it.

Crowley quickly tried to type something else, maybe an apology, an explanation, beg for him to stop and save the demon from months of dreaming about this extra bit of skin that he couldn't have. That was the last thing he needed, after imagining how he might look under his neat little vests for so long, and now because of a tiny lie he was getting it with no work on his part and now he was about to come.

The two sides of fabric seemed to pop away with perfect ease as every button was unclasped, his collar bone the first thing to catch Crowley's eye. The last time he'd seen it he thought that was the luckiest day of his life. He'd gone over the mental image of it probably a hundred or more times by now, and Aziraphale kept _going_. He could see the folds of his chest now, the bastard not having even bothered to wear an undershirt beneath as if some sort of tease. To think the only thing keeping his eyes off bare skin was thin cotton...

The angel was struggling to keep his eyes on the computer, flushing beautifully, cheeks rosy as the rest of himself. There was still a hesitation, an apprehensive in his stare that made it evident he was still having doubts, but pressing through nonetheless. 

If Crowley wasn't on the brink of an orgasm he might've been furious, realizing that if he hadn't been the one to pull of this grand prank then Aziraphale really could've been doing this for a stranger, and that idea was so incredibly wrong he couldn't come up with words for it. Six thousand years of choking if he but grazed a fingertip over the angel's skin, and now a nobody could've been getting to see all this for himself, it wasn't fair, it wasn't fair-

_"Do you like this?"_ Aziraphale whispered, undoing the last button and letting his shirt slip down to his lap, a tiny smile playing at his lips. His belly was so incredibly tender looking, a little round curve of it that he could sink his hands into with greed if there wasn't a screen between them. " _You've been quiet for a long time. I hope the sight of my torso hasn't been an unpleasant experience for you. I can put it back on if you wish."_

Crowley struggled to get air in his lungs, looking down at himself through his haze and realizing that he'd made a complete mess. His hand was dripping with cum, some of it having ended trailing over his desk, and he groaned into the silence of the room, deflating backward. He had to use a miracle to type the rest, body completely drained with a mixture of adrenaline and unexpected pleasure. 

"You're everything I've ever wanted, angel. I wish I could just stare at you forever." A little dramatic, but not at all untrue. He'd gladly keep a spare set of eyes just to watch Aziraphale at all hours if he could, though he supposed that'd trigger a pretty bad case of vertigo. 

He felt his cock twitching back to attention, and he quickly typed a simple "Getting a call, gotta go. Hope to see you same time next week," miracling another payment somewhere around four hundred pounds before slamming his laptop closed and heaving a long sigh.

Well. That didn't go as expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew this moved faster than expected! Wanted to get this horny tidbit out of the way, though in the next chapter I'll hopefully be toning things back down with a bit of food porn, and um, some... shopping... 😇


	3. A Day Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uaggh update was later than I'd hoped cause the return of college and operating on a decent sleep schedule has been hitting me harder than I'd expected 😭 I wanted to punch a wall repeatedly cause I keep forgetting how to Do The Think ☠  
> Hope you enjoy this tidbit tho!

Crowley hadn't left his flat for a week. It was starting to make his muscles ache, all tense from lazing around in a ball of guilt from what had transpired just a few days before. He was currently nestled up in bed, flipping through the works of Shakespeare in hopes of laughing himself out of this rut. It wasn't working.

So far using miracles to keep his effort behaved wasn't working either, and not even a medieval chastity belt could keep it from springing to life at the mere hint of memory about that night. "Oh, drinknig phhoison because you think your lover kicked the bucket?" he muttered to himself, taking a long drag of straight vodka with a wince, "That's a bit harshhh. Never saw that coming. Couldn't have possibly predictdd tha."

He groaned when it came back again, that dreaded pressure down below the sheets, and he shifted to get a less comfortable position so he couldn't feel it as much. "Romeo, Romeo, why are you such a priiick? Gettinh a girl to fall head ovr heels for you just to  _ die _ ...or not. Either way, you're the one at fault." His head swam and so did his stomach, mounting unsteadiness as he felt himself starting to lose control of his body again, hand slipping down beneath the blanket to nudge around the tip of his cock. 

"Fcking bastard...why'd you have to go do that...s'not fair is it? No, s'bnch of bollocks. All that shite for a bit of a love affair. Stupid really." There was Aziraphale's face in his thoughts again, pink and soft, innocently- he lurched forward in bed to shake his head frantically. "Nonononono we've already been over this!" He swatted his exploring hand and pulled it back up, glaring at it in the dim light. "Maybe I should get rid of my limbs for the time being..." he said to the quiet, sighing before standing up and walking out to the main room.

There wasn't much he could do but continue the pattern of halting his body as soon as it started to move by itself, give it a harsh reprimand or two...till his instincts became too strong, that is. For now, he was in control and would remain so for as long as he possibly could. 

He walked over to his throne and slumped down in it, ignoring the memories that popped in his head from the last time he'd sat here. His phone was resting on the table and he checked through it, gulping when he saw a text message from that morning, Aziraphale offering to go on an outing together. He didn't need to go leaving his house, not till his body regained control somehow.

Opting to text instead of call, most definitely  _ not  _ wanting to hear the angel's voice in his ear, he wrote a short reply that was left vague enough to appease Aziraphale's curiosity.

_ Can't come _

He most certainly  _ could _ , and had been for days now, but that was beside the point. Aziraphale wanted to go  _ shopping _ ? That wasn't something they normally did, much less on Sundays when he was supposedly frequenting nearby churches or something a good little angel would do. He could probably use church right now, some sermons to leave his body a burnt crisp that couldn't focus on pleasure. 

_ Oh, why's that? Come on, I need help, dear boy  _ came the angel's response a moment later. Giving Aziraphale a mobile phone was by far the worst idea he'd ever had. It'd seemed like the right thing to do after the fire, give him an easy way to call for help if he need be, but so far he'd been misusing this power by bombarding the demon with pictures of tartan things he came across throughout the day and asking for tips on writing poetry. Crowley wasn't cut out for this kind of thing.

_ Kinda busy, _ he wrote, waiting a second before adding,  _ Why today? It's raining. Why not, I don't know, in a month or so? Give or take.  _ At this rate, it was going to take more than a month to fix the demon's particular ailment, but it would be better than right now while his effort swelled at simply seeing a  _ text _ from the one being he enjoyed talking to.

_ Come on, please? _ Fuck, misusing his power yet again, Crowley thought as his thumb subconsciously trailed down over his cock before he caught his hand and shoved it under himself. _ I just wanted to spend some time with you...see, I need to make a few stops and I sort of, well, need a second opinion. _ What, buying books now required the presence of one very incompetent demon?

_ Fine, whatever, but we're going for drinks afterward, _ he typed out while he began to stand, heading towards the bathroom to give himself an ice-cold shower. 

_ Splendid! I'll see you, say, around noon? _

*

Well, this was a horrible idea. Crowley was very much aware that his body could turn against him at any moment, and it was through sheer willpower and watching a few videos of Vegan cooking that he had gotten himself to calm down. There was an ever-present tingle in his stomach, a curl of arousal that threatened to grow at any given second if he let his guard down. He had developed a pretty strict routine now, directing his thoughts away from the debauched to something more along the lines of the way the sand feels when it gets stuck in your hair, how chalk sounds when it rubs across a blackboard, a full moon glaring down on you when you're trying to sleep. Unsatisfying things. It worked surprisingly well if he kept himself at least a little tipsy at all times.

"Crowley? Oh, thank you so much for coming!"  _ Why?! Why did he have to say that?  _ Aziraphale was just a walking innuendo, ready to undo the demon at a moment's notice with a sweet smile and a bad choice of words.

"No...problem," he mumbled as he stood next to the door, not daring to enter the bookshop lest he lose all sense in the presence of Aziraphale's scent, caught in all the nooks and crannies of every bookcase. "You better be ready. I'm not going to stand here and wait for you, just so you know." He did want to get this over with quickly, still unsure of why he'd even agreed to it in the first place.

"Don't worry, we'll be off in just a moment. Hmm...Do you think this is the right shirt?" he questioned, coming into the demon's line of view with a nearly identical outfit to every other he normally wore. 

"I don't see anything wrong with it," he said truthfully, tilting his head. "S'it new?"

"Well, yes and no. You see, I bought it a few years ago but haven't had the chance to wear it till now. I thought it might be nice to give it a spin since we're going to be out today...and well, I'd like to look a little special."

"Why's that?"

"Oh...no reason." He brushed past him, sending a trail of shivers down the demon's back. "We just don't normally shop together, and I might as well dress my best."

"What, are we going on a vacation or something?"

"No, nothing like that." he beamed back at him, shuffling into the Bentley with a wide grin. "Thank you for deciding to join me," he said more quietly when Crowley followed him and threw the door open, resisting the urge to slam it shut just as roughly, already feeling his body twitching with excitement at the prospect of being so close to the angel. "I hate to admit it but I don't fancy shopping all by myself. It's so much more enjoyable when someone you like is there with you."  _ Angel,  _ **_ please _ ** _. Don't compliment me like this. You're going to  _ **_ end _ ** _ me, and it will not be pretty. _

"Y-ea, well, enough with that." He flicked on the radio to a random station and gripped the steering wheel with a sweaty palm, hoping Aziraphale wouldn't notice how shiny his brow was. "Right then, lead the way."

*

"Ah...what are we doing here?" the demon questioned, looking around a fairly modern outlet with all sorts of furniture and bedding. "I don't remember you saying you were interested in a new cabinet." The place had the odd musk of stale air mixed with a pine air freshener, a feeble attempt at masking the scent of trapped oxygen and humans sweating in a confined space while they browsed. There were blindingly radiant light displays over wooden floors, fake flowers lining every window. Pretty upscale; they hadn't been somewhere like this since holiday season, and even then Aziraphale seemed partial to bookstores and niche gift shops, which wasn't exactly surprising.

"Well, I've just been needing to get my hands on a few things. You'll be a dear and help me choose, won't you?" As if he could say no to that smile, Crowley thought with a scowl. "I'll try to be quick...I'd take all day if it was just me here all by myself. I know you're somewhat of a minimalist, but I think you have a good idea of what my style tends to lean towards."

"Can you be more specific?"

"I'd like to buy some blankets, pillows, that sort of thing," he replied with an equally soft chuckle, and the realization hit the demon a moment later, sending a harsh chill all through his body.  _ Blankets _ ,  _ pillows _ ...

Fuck.

"Eh, I've just remembered I have something I need to do-" he tried to scramble for words, everything dawning on him in a surge of embarrassment. Aziraphale wanted help shopping for  _ props _ . Soft things he was going to curl around later for some unknown watcher, and now he was asking for  _ assistance?! _

"What? But we just got here!" he pouted, turning to look at the demon. "You're not going to leave me all alone now, are you? Did we come all this way just for you to leave so suddenly? ...Ah, I apologize, if you need to be somewhere..." A flicker in his eyes made it oblivious he already knew Crowley was stuck in place, tracking the angel with interest despite his conscience screaming at him to leave before this affected him any more. 

"Fine, alright, can we make this quick? If-if I don't get there soon I'll be reprimanded. Hell, you see, all their assignments. They've been getting more strict." The angel just nodded and smiled, turning back around to wander through the tall gleaming isles. 

There were bed displays set up throughout the store, all sorts of distasteful linens and frilly decorative pillows-  _ way _ too many he thought, grimacing. Why did anyone need so many if they weren't even going to sleep on them? Not to mention they never really matched the rest of the room, a majority a disgustingly bright shade rather than something sensible and dark.

Aziraphale felt over a row of blankets that were sitting on hangers, his expression shifting as he scanned for something that suited his fancy. "Oh, what about this one?" he asked, pointing to nasty yellow wool. Crowley swept his hand over it and mistakenly brushed past the angel's hand, jolting and quickly moving farther away.

"I don't know, get whatever you like. You're a better judge than I am."

"Why do you think I invited you, silly?" _ To torture me?! _ "I need help deciding. I trust your advice... besides, I don't have to worry so much about it matching the rest of my store, seeing as I'm going to keep it in my bedroom." Crowley gulped at that thought, trying to push it away while he took a few steps back. "Please? It'll only take a moment."

"Fine!" he growled, walking over to the opposite side and raking his hands across the row at lightning speed. Every texture was all wrong, much too wrinkly or plush, too thin or thick... Aziraphale needed something rich, soft but durable.

He eventually came across a dusty brown cashmere, which caught his eyes the moment he looked at it. It seemed like something his- **_ the _ ** angel would like, imagining it draped across his shoulders on a cold night. Or while he wasn't wearing anything else. He bit his lip and began to glance around for a nearby loo, his effort twitching to life despite his every attempt to keep it at bay. Shit, he had done everything in his power to prevent this, used hundreds of tiny miracles that hopefully nobody in Hell would notice...

He practically threw it at the angel, mouthing "This one" before stumbling away and cursing down at himself.

*

Thankfully no other incidents had happened so far; Crowley awkwardly joined Aziraphale again after a very long trip, having sized up his trousers a little so they wouldn't hug him so tight and give away obvious evidence after his brief satisfaction wore off. The angel was just picking out a few pillows and from the looks of things they were incredibly soft and luxurious. He couldn't have expected anything different from such an indulgent bastard. 

"Thank you, dear, this was very enjoyable!" he beamed, and Crowley felt a bit better knowing Aziraphale didn't seem to notice anything. They were slowly walking towards the front and the angel hummed all the while. "I have just one more stop if you perhaps have the time...I'm definitely going to need some assistance there. Of course, I understand if you have to leave."

"If we can get in and out in ten minutes or less, then yeah." he sighed, wildly crowding his mind with images of the most unsatisfying things he could think of. Mud on the carpet, great big lumps of snot sticking to hair,  _ paperwork _ . 

"Um, well it might take slightly longer...you see I've never actually been to a place like this before," he muttered, voice taking on a softness that masked his thoughts well. "I just thought, well, you're a demon and all. I assumed you'd feel right at home in a place like that." Crowley blinked at him, ignoring the cashier when they made it to the counter. 

Aziraphale proudly presented his own money- which was paid in cash, all wrinkled despite how new they looked. The human behind the counter made a face, but the angel remained blissfully unaware, apparently very pleased with himself, using his own earnings for the first time.

"You assume lots of things, don't you?" he grumbled back, bristling when their hips grazed past each other. "Look, I can handle whatever it is you have in that angelic mind of yours, however sinister it may be. If it involves crime, I won't complain." The cashier frowned at him, and the demon just glared back. "...What I meant to say was I am  **_ not  _ ** above murder." The human flinched and sped up their work of putting everything in flimsy bags, the two entities soon walking out with a very full cart.

"Now...I hope you don't mind helping me put all this in the car as well."

*

When Crowley was told to pull up at the side of a row of stores, he expected the angel to lead him into the quaint little coffee shop to the left- not the very seedy-looking adult store to the right. His eyes shot open, and he stood there in the middle of the sidewalk while Aziraphale similarly remained frozen, looking wonderingly through the windows.

"Um...would you be so kind as to lend me one of your pairs of glasses?" he asked, taking a few steps back as a human walked out of the doorway and passed them. "I really wouldn't like anyone recognizing me..."

"W-whhr-" he took a few gulps to stabilize his breathing, coughing into his elbow when the word was choked in his throat. "Who's gonna recognize you exactly?"

"I don't know, past customers? It would be embarrassing, don't you think?" It was amazing that his highest priority right now was remaining incognito with a pair of fucking sunglasses when he could change his appearance at will, but the demon begrudgingly walked back to his car and pulled out one of his spares. 

"You are strange," he mumbled, jerking his hand over stiffly and watching the angel put on the matching pair like they were in some kind of spy movie. He looked ridiculous, the rims far too thick for his face structure, but the demon felt light-headed when he saw him wearing one of his possessions. The angel smiled at him and mouthed a "Thank you", before beginning to step forward towards the entrance. "Ah- wait!" He reached out to grab Aziraphale's arm, mouth completely dry while his heart sang in his ears. "You're sure you found the right address? Maybe you were thinking of a bookstore nearby, or a grocery- angel, this is an  _ adult _ store."

"I am an adult," he said, his innocent grin making Crowley's pulse skyrocket. "I'm probably more of an adult than most other adults, wouldn't you say?" That made absolutely no sense but the demon just nodded, then shook his head.

"No, what I mean is- it's one of those XXX kinds of places." He felt stupid saying that out loud; it sounded much better on paper. "It's the sort of place people go when they're, er...searching for certain specific things that, um...you know how ah-"

"You're not making much sense, dear. You underestimate me. I searched for this place on the internet before coming, so I know it's the right one." he said resolutely, puffing up his chest with a proud smile. "I'm surprised you're acting so sheepish. You're telling me you've never been to a shop like this?"

"Well, not exactly..." he trailed off, practically getting dragged inside by the eager angel. His stomach plummeted when they walked in and his eyes caught sight of all the mannequins dressed in very naughty outfits, or lack thereof. The walls were lined with all sorts of sex toys, even the bad, greenish-yellow lighting not enough to calm his nerves. "Angel... _ angel _ , honestly." he flailed as Aziraphale excitedly began to scan all the products in search of the perfect buy. The angel may have been over six thousand years old, but it still felt like he was watching someone lose all their innocence in just a few minutes. "Look, I'm all for you branching out and experimenting, but...people tend to buy these kinds of things  _ online _ ." He whipped his head from left to right to make sure nobody was watching them, glaring harshly at an employee who had been about to walk up to them with their usual practiced greeting.

"Well this would be more convenient since I want to get a good estimation of the size and shape of everything, you see?" They passed a display filled with different flavored lubes and wracks with all colors of cheap lingerie. "Oh, this is already so much fun! Just look at all my options!" Crowley had no idea why Aziraphale saw fit to bring him along as if it was some kind of friendly outing, but he wasn't about to leave the angel now. Who knows what kinds of perverts would be on the lookout for such a cute and oblivious bastard in a place like this.

"Come  _ on _ , you won't find anything of good quality here anyway- shit, most of these are made with dangerously porous material anyway. You don't want to be getting anywhere near them." He wasn't sure if the safety precautions applied to angels, but it was a good excuse in any case. "I could help you search the internet for something made with silicone, glass- fuck- why are you smiling at me like that?!"

"You sound so tense, dear. Why don't you just relax? We can leave anytime you want." he murmured even as he took the demon's hand and led him over to a wall covered in toys. "...However, I think you'll miss out on an opportunity. Come now, won't you help me pick a few?"

"Fine, fine! You need my opinion that much?!" he growled, crowding closer to the angel when another customer passed by. " ** Fine ** . Have it your way, but let's make this quick." He reddened when he finally allowed himself to look up at all there was to offer. They'd started at the beginning of the section, where a long row of neon vibrators was sitting. "Ok, start with one of these. They're simple and multipurpose." he hissed out the last word, throwing three into the basket. He wasn't paying much attention, much more concerned about someone seeing his quickly filling effort. He tugged his blazer off and wrapped it around his waist, angling the sleeves to cover his groin; it looked completely stupid, but it'd do the trick for a while anyway.

"Ooo, what about this?" the angel hummed, picking up one that was much bigger than the bullets Crowley had chosen. It was purple, transparent, and had too much of a pointy tip, a stereotypical bad quality toy, but Aziraphale didn't seem to mind. "I'd like to experiment with all sorts of shapes, you see."

"Looks good," he grunted, flinging another two in the basket for good measure. "Everything looks good, so why ask for my help?"

"Maybe I just didn't want to come in here alone..." he mumbled, and Crowley took a few steps back to keep himself from losing control and pinning the angel against the wall right then and there. His lips seemed softer now, even in this terrible lighting, and it was playing with his patience. "Not to mention I'm going to need help with these." He pointed over to the dildo section, and every fiber of the demon's being tensed till he was nothing but a walking bundle of nerves. "I'm very much a beginner, so I was hoping you knew a few things about them, that you could assist me in determining the proper size for someone who's just starting."

Crowley tried to think of himself as a store associate, that he was helping some clueless shopper pick out their first toys and  _ not _ a demon very much enjoying watching an angel explore the pleasures of the flesh. "Y-yo-er, okay, just start with one of these." He pointed to a trainer kit that had a set three anal plugs, throwing it in the basket without a second thought. "They're small enough for beginners and you can build up to something more if you want to. If you don't, if you decide, well, this was all just one big mistake after all and I'd rather just read a book, then no harm is done."

"You know my patron said something similar to that." he smiled, looking sideways as if savoring the memory. "I'll start with them, however I'm also going to need something bigger for after I get accustomed. What about this?" He pointed to a very  _ large  _ toy, veiny and lifelike, and Crowley slowly turned around and just started walking away.

"Looks fine." Internally all his thoughts were screaming, demanding he run away this instant and back into the safety of his flat. On the other hand, he didn't know if he could make it that far, his cock so swollen and hot he felt like he might come before he even made it out the door. There was no way he could simply distract himself from this, his bulge now showing even through his makeshift shield, and so he instead walked over to a little display case of perfumes and stared at it, hoping if he just stood there it'd go down soon enough.

Aziraphale came up behind him about ten minutes later, swinging a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs in front of his face. He jolted and swung himself around, scowling at the angel, who was smiling innocently and dangling them between his fingertips.

"Look Crowley, what an odd thing to sell here. Is this to keep someone from falling off the bed?"

"...Yeah. Can't be too careful. Safety is the most important thing." He groaned and fought the urge to grab the angel right there and hump against his thighs, make all the tension he'd survived through all day disappear in just a minute or two of frantic thrusting, but well, there were more than a few problems with that. He could feel precum forming beneath his trousers and tugged the angel's arm, beckoning him towards the checkout. "Look, I think you have more than enough to start with. You don't want to get too many things at once and then overwhelm yourself."

"Oh, that's a good point! I suppose I got a little excited, seeing all these new things. It's a bit like art sculptures, wouldn't you say?"

"I  _ wouldn't _ , but think of them how you will. Either way, let's get out of here before the mannequins start moving. I don't like how they're staring at me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was hoping to squeeze in some food porn but this was getting too long so I'll add that in with the next chapter 😉 Probably gonna switch back to Aziraphale pov, have him do a little unboxing 😇
> 
> Remember to use nonporous toys ya'll!!


	4. Hungry For You

Crowley felt like he'd been dragged through the world's longest training course for self-control by the time the Bentley whirred to a stop outside the angel's store, having been convinced through soft words and even softer smiles to help Aziraphale bring everything they'd bought into the bookshop. It wasn't as if he couldn't just miracle it all inside at a moment's notice- though that wasn't exactly something he should be doing, given the fact that he'd already spent so many of them on, er, corporation management in just the past few hours. 

In any case, he was here now, and the urge to run and the urge to get closer to the angel were battling each other for control of his body. On one hand, Aziraphale did have a nice bottle of brandy he'd been telling himself they should share next time he visited, and he was promised a drink for his troubles, and on the other hand that was an obvious excuse and he was well aware of it. His brain was full of them, little ideas that ate at his inhibitions and made him act stupid . 

That wasn't anything new, not when he was around Aziraphale. Next to such a walking temptation in all areas, he didn't stand a chance at keeping up appearances, acting like he knew what he was doing. He didn't, for that matter, he'd more or less been pretending since he fell. So was the life of Hell's least competent demon. If you could call it life; it was more a seemingly endless string of bad choices and even worse outcomes.

"You're certainly quiet, dear." the angel spoke in what felt like his ear, but it was just a mix of the car's heater blowing against his face and his nerves playing tricks on him. It wasn't even cold out so he had no idea why he'd turned the damn thing on, reaching over to twist it off before glancing over at the angel's questioning face. "Are you tired? You can just wait here while I bring everything inside if you wish."

"No no, just what do you think I am?! Think a demon can't handle a bit of walking, you think I'm so weak my feet will give out from-" he began to bark, feeling as though the only correct reaction to this kind of sensation in his chest was pure frustration. Aziraphale seemed completely unphased; in fact, if he didn't know better he'd say the angel's smile had grown throughout his mini-rant. "Oh, just get out of the car." he finally sighed, waving his hand in dismissal. "Or stay in here, let me take it all in. That would be better. You were the one grabbing things left and right."

"Don't worry about that. I feel very refreshed. I think doing some shopping with a friend was very good for me, got me out of my books for a change." The demon couldn't refute that, just scowling while he reminded his body how to grasp a door handle. "I had so much fun! I have so many lovely pillows now, a velvety blanket I just can't wait to nestle myself into and all those- what did you call them?"

To keep the remaining shreds of his sanity, Crowley just grunted and practically fell onto the pavement when he jerked the car door open, quickly popping open the back door seat and grabbing a few bags, then speeding over to the front of the store like it was all stolen goods. "I believe the word you're thinking of is 'caramels'."

"Oh, yes...we did get those too," he muttered, following behind him. "I'll let you have a few if you'd like."

"All I want is alcohol drowning my every brain cell," he said as he lurched inside. Gravity wasn't on his side today, wood slamming against the wall when the door banged against it. "Oh bollocks, since when did you have that there?"

"My desk? I believe it's been sitting there for approximately sixty-seven years now."

"Oh, you- just get in here. Babble too long and someone's going to make off with our- _your_ things."

"Yes yes, dear boy. Goodness you're all stressed today, aren't you? Perhaps you didn't enjoy passing through all those crowds? I'm not very partial to them myself."

"I think it had to do more with the-" he started, a blush so deep blooming he could feel it in his hands. "M-more to do with the cake we had. Tasted like absolute shite."

"Really?" he huffed when he sat down a large bag stuffed dangerously full of pillows down on the sofa. "You looked quite satisfied with it. Your face was all flushed, and you kept making these little noises-"

"That was my stomach. Don't feel so good, see? Feel like I'm going to throw it all up now, all those damned saccharine molecules that have no place in anyone, occult or otherwise." He promptly ended the conversation by throwing a pillow at the angel's face, which, to be fair, was in the direction of the sofa, and then sped back out to collect what he could while he could still function.

*

By the time they'd finished bringing everything inside, the floor was covered in pillows. He hadn't noticed just how many the bastard of an angel had bought, too caught up in his own personal Hell that Aziraphale had had plenty of time to do a bit of shopping in what was more or less secret. Since when did he get a lamp? Or that slice of cheesecake for that matter. Oh yeah, must've been from lunch... that'd been almost as bad as it had been at the sex shop. 

He could still picture the ribbons of caramel dribbling down the angel's chin, chugging cup after cup of black coffee in some attempt to distract himself. Aziraphale had proudly bought himself a box of desserts ~with his own money~, as he was so thrilled about. He'd experienced the satisfaction of making a human wage and was now blinded with power... as Crowley liked to think, anyway.

Oh yes, back to the cheesecake. It was blueberry flavored, little swirls of purple throughout. The top was coated in a thin glaze of some kind of marshmallow sauce, and Aziraphale was looking down at it with renewed interest when he sunk his spoon into it. The few minutes of labor just to bring in some bags was enough to famish one very gluttonous angel. 

Not like he was complaining.

"Want some? I saved you some of the strawberries, but now that I think about it I'm not sure if you've ever tried this flavor...it's so lovely, all fresh and soft."

"Hm... fresh is hardly the word for it. Been sitting in the car since noon."

"Well I'd assumed that you'd already used a miracle to keep it cool...didn't you? It's warm in the car, and yet this piece is still good as new." It really wouldn't come as a surprise to the demon, seeing as his every instinct these days was to service Aziraphale in any discreet way he could- which was most likely some subconscious desire to redeem himself. Of falling, or maybe of just being such a terrible friend regarding the previous few weeks.

He'd never read any kind of guide to friendship with celestial beings, but he was pretty sure falling for them in every way would be listed as a definite no-no. He'd fallen twice, now that he thought about it- or more specifically was currently still falling, deeper and deeper, and somehow he thought this next one was going to have a much more rough of a landing. Into a seemingly endless pit of feelings and sensations, he didn't have words for and didn't have the energy to name while most of his strength was being saved for the next time he'd have to endure Aziraphale's smiling face.

"Whatever, just pass me the bottle again," he grumbled, tugging the glorious alcohol against his chest the moment it was offered. "Don't think I'm going to help you decorate."

*

"Hmm..." Aziraphale chuckled, a slight flush over his cheeks. There was a smile plastered on his face and Crowley wanted to throw another pillow at him to wipe it off before he discorporated or worse. The bastard was enjoying his drink, now on his second glass despite the demon's warnings. For an angel, he couldn't take much alcohol before it started to affect him. 

"What're you looking so jolly for?" he grumbled back at the snickering angel, long-since having shoved a blanket over his lap to hide an unpleasant surprise growing there without his permission. The alcohol had helped a little, but he couldn't calm down while Aziraphale was so close, much less after the occurrences of the day. "Stop grinning like that. Gonna get stuck."

"I just feel so good. I could dance, I really could. Want to shart some music?" he slurred, spilling the droplets of what was left in his cup on his lap carelessly. "We could dance together, youn' me. Stay up till sunrise watching movies and then start everything all over again." They'd done things like that in the past and, as luring of an idea as it was, this was no time to be having fun. Crowley was barely holding himself together, the store having turned into more of a prison since he was scared of standing and revealing everything to those innocent eyes. He'd never forgive Her for creating efforts. He really wouldn't. They didn't do anything but cause trouble.

"No thanks. I should be getting back pretty soon."

"Aw, but it's still sho early! Stay awhile and visit. The night is so very young." It was almost midnight by now, but by Crowley's standards, it was still early. Despite this, the demon yawned into his elbow for effect, batting his eyes as he could barely keep them open.

"Nah, I'm completely spent. You dragged me all around town, arsehole. I can't feel my legs."

"Dancing would help!"

"That is the opposite of what it would do, actually," he grumbled, shifting for the twentieth time to hide better. Thankfully the lamplight was dim enough so that the angel most likely couldn't see his red face. "All I want is to go back home and sleep. You should try it yourself, might do you some good."

"But Crowwwleyyyy-" he whined, grabbing a pillow and huddling against it. "I don't want you to go. We still have so much to do!"

"Yeah? Such as?"

"...Oh, I know! You could help me unbox all the-" he started, but with a dreadful growl Crowley lurched over to his side of the couch and cupped a hand over the angel's mouth, glaring down at him.

"I think you've had one too many." Aziraphale tried to speak, but all that came out was garbled noises and condensation against the demon's palm. "We don't need to do that together. You practically forced me to help you pick them. You're on your own with that." he hissed, backing away a moment later when the angel started giggling against his skin. There was a warm, wet patch on his hand when he brought it back to his side.

"Aww...you're no fun."

"I'm darkness and death, angel, I'm not _ssssssupposed_ to be fun. Look, why don't you save all that for your next stream? Unless you've given all that up entirely. Which, of course, I understand and encourage, and you never needed..." he trailed off when he saw Aziraphale wiggle beneath him, beaming from ear to ear.

"Splendid idea! I'm sure my patron knows all about how to make things like that work. They can tell me what to do and how to use everything, and oh, I'll be looking forward to it." His smile finally faltered when Crowley started to move backward, and he reached out his arm in invitation. "Can you at least sleep here for tonight? You can show me how to set everything up for tomorrow when we wake up, help me put together all those lovely pillows."

" _No_." he scolded, grateful for the shadows that hid his smile. "You're completely spoilt aren't you... look, I'll stay here for the night, but I'm not about to get involved in all this camming business. That's private stuff, y' know."

"Oh I know." he said more solemnly, fidgeting with his vest. "I suppose friends aren't supposhed to get involved in personal matters like this...that would simply be _obscene_ , wouldn't it? Cross some kind of invisible line." Aziraphale knew how to prove Crowley's point and shatter his self-esteem in the same sentence, remaining oblivious to the demon's expression that drooped after he spoke. "But oh, you're staying the night? How wonderful!" 

"...Yeah, but I'm sleeping over _here_ ," he grumbled, pulling the blanket over his shoulders and flopping down on the other seat next to the sofa. "G'night, angel."

*

Crowley sat down at his desk and hesitantly turned on his laptop, considering just throwing the thing in a dumpster and pretending none of this had ever happened. He was in way too far to quit now; if he did, Aziraphale was sure to find others that would be more than glad to tip him as much as he wished just to see a bit of skin... not to mention they would've gone to all that trouble yesterday for nothing.

His current plan was to let the angel show off his new toys the way he had not-so-subtly hinted he was dying to do, to have someone compliment all the colors and tell him he'd made good choices. Aziraphale was addicted to praise like that, and Crowley couldn't blame him after working for Heaven so long. 

In any case, after he was done, he was going to call it quits, come clean about the whole thing. He didn't know how...maybe he'd play it off as an awful joke, maybe they wouldn't speak for a week or two and it'd magically be forgotten. Maybe Aziraphale was going to scream at him for being such a complete arsehole and go on one of his year-long reading sessions like he used to back when they were enemies. Were they still technically enemies? He thought better than to ask.

The fact of the matter was he had to tell him. He couldn't hide behind a screen forever and pretend to be some infatuated patron... well, maybe he was just that, but he wasn't whatever Aziraphale thought he was. That notion also made his blood boil, wondering what the angel pictured when he typed replies into the chat. Did he imagine someone taller, more handsome? Maybe a historical figure he'd wanted to fuck but never got a chance to.

Crowley was still going over everything when the screen blinked on and Aziraphale cheerfully waved, shopping bags by his side. The lighting was decent this time; it seemed as though the angel had taken a lamp and removed the shade, angling it next to the bed. He was better contoured, his clothes outlined in soft gold. 

_"Miss me?"_ Somehow that greeting knocked the air right out of the demon's lungs. Not a "Hello", or a "Good evening", straight to the point and more of a tease. Like clockwork Crowley's body started to react, just as strongly as the day before. The only problem was he was at home and had the privacy to tend to it, and didn't need to be conditioning himself to give in whenever his cock demanded it. It was a bit late for that, though.

"More than you know." he typed with one hand, the other giving him the satisfaction of rubbing just the tip of his effort through his trousers, not allowing anything more. He was in control of himself, he had to keep reminding himself that.

_"I have some surprises for you. Do you remember how you told me to go buy some special things? Well, as you can see-"_ Aziraphale grabbed the computer and hoisted it onto his lap, spinning it around to view the other side of the bed, which now had that same dusty-colored blanket sitting on top. The pillows were there as well, wedged behind the angel's back. He looked very comfortable, and even more proud of himself. _"See? Just like you told me. I spent the whole day out yesterday just picking the best props for our next meeting."_

"You did? I'm impressed. They look really good, even better with you sitting next to them." The brief moment of seeing Aziraphale smile helped calm his nerves a little, and he just breathed into his elbow and shifted around in his seat. It was feeling warmer in the room already. 

_"Oh thank you, dear- and I have some more things I'd like to show you as well if you want to see."_ Crowley didn't need to respond, the angel merrily reaching into his bags and pulling out all the new treasures one by one. By Satan, he'd bought a lot, much more than he remembered. 

The demon's face gradually grew more red as he watched, seeing all sorts of lubes, vibrators, dildos, plugs...even strange little trinkets which most likely served to be on display rather than to have any real function. He had thought of everything, including those awful pink cuffs and- oh no, he'd gotten a gag and was now wrapping it around his neck, most likely thinking it was some kind of necklace. 

_"See? So many pretty things, all of which I had no idea existed until just this week. My dear friend helped me pick, but unfortunately, he didn't stay to tell me how any of them function. I'm afraid you'll have to guide me if you're still interested that is."_

"Oh I am, trust me. I'm just as excited as you are, if not more. I can't wait to watch you use-" Crowley realized he was getting off course, too lost in his roleplay to remember the lines he'd rehearsed to explain that this was all a stupid joke. 

Aziraphale was already pulling things out of their boxes, gawking at smooth neon pinks and blues, feeling over the soft surfaces with his fingertips. _"Oh my, this feels so odd! It's a bit like skin, but not quite. Smooth and cool, and so bright! If I didn't know it was an adult product I'd assume it came from an art museum."_ Nope, don't think those were allowed in a place like that. _"What do you want me to do? You pick and tell me how. I'll do my best, but remember to be patient with me."_

Well, at some point during the conversation Crowley had pulled his fly down and was now faced with yet another red erection that demanded his attention. Damn everything. He'd admit to it all soon enough. Just a few more minutes.

"Do you have batteries? Unless it's rechargeable you're going to need those." Aziraphale dug in his bag and came back with a triumphant gleam, showing a brand new pack to the screen.

_"Of course! I bought nearly everything in the store. Can't be too careful."_

"Good good...now slide them in and press the button. It should start whirring, so don't let it scare you."

_"Oh yes, I was wondering why it was called a 'vibrator'. I suppose that makes sense, doesn't it?"_ Crowley couldn't take many more of his cute little remarks, sliding back into the seat and cupping his cock. The show hadn't even started and he was nearly at his wit's end, just like last time. Endless pressure, tiny sparks that started at the tips of his fingers and deep in his chest and traveled through his body. So much _heat_. It was like there was a fire right in the pit of his stomach.

The angel was becoming more and more corrupted right before his very eyes. Sure, maybe there wasn't anything wrong with sex toys or whatever he planned to do with them, but it was _Aziraphale_. He surely didn't know the implications of what he was doing. He was thousands of years old, sure, but there was no way he truly understood. 

The angel must've noticed the lack of text because he set the toy on the mattress and reached for a box, a familiar one at that. Leftover pastries from yesterday. 

" _I guess the first thing to do would be to have a little snack. I'm rather famished. All this excitement builds an appetite!"_ Crowley had to agree, though he wasn't at all focused on food. His attention was caught on Aziraphale's hand as he rummaged through the box and lifted up a sweet almond pastry to the screen. _"Doesn't this look tasty? I can try to describe it to you if you wish. That way you can pretend you're getting a bite as well."_

Crowley indeed wanted to bite into something, though that something was currently on the verge of drooling and showing off a cherry tart, much too distracted to notice he'd received another thousand pounds.

" _Delicious_!" Aziraphale hummed, lips now covered in little crumbs and specks of almond. His cheeks were slightly puffed out; the bastard never was patient enough to eat anything in decently-small bites, not while at home anyway. While he wasn't worried about the scrutiny of Heaven, about enjoying these disgusting Earthly molecules, he stuffed his mouth full and gulped everything down while completely indecent moans. "It tastes of honey, cinnamon, nutmeg... almond, course! It's so wonderfully soft and crunchy, I wish I'd bought several."

He was currently wiping a bit of flaky crust away from his chin, looking down with delight at a buttery center that bled out a bit of cinnamon cream. His cheeks were flushed with pleasure, eyes half-lidded, and Crowley liked to imagine that's what he'd look like after...

_"Hhmmg!"_ the angel suddenly groaned, shifting around like he was uncomfortable. The demon blinked at the screen, noticing only now that he'd come yet again and was already stiffening back up in response to the noise. His body really didn't give him a moment of peace. " _Oh-oh dear, it's happening again..."_

Crowley took a moment to pant and catch his breath before writing a reply, miracling the mess away with shame. "What is? Are you feeling alright? We can stop if you need to."

The angel quickly shook his head, adjusting his hips and shoving another tart through his lips. This time it muffled his moan, much to the demon's disappointment, but now he was more concerned that the angel might've eaten something made him sick. Without a miracle, there wouldn't be any way to take care of that, and the poor bastard was trying so hard to avoid them.

_"Mmg-m-"_ he breathed out again, more of a whimper this time, and Crowley started typing another concerned message into the chatbox. There was no telling what Aziraphale might've done with his stomach lining, the demon thought with a grimace as he thought of all those damned sweets. _"Nnn-no, no, I'm perfectly alright. I just um, I'm still getting used to having something inside."_

Crowley studied the angel's face, completely puzzled. Something inside? He ate all the time, so why was there a problem no-oh _bloody_ ** _Heaven_**.

The realization dawned on him when Aziraphale adjusted himself once more, keeping his thighs wedged together like he was trying to... hold something in. 

_"It's such an odd sensation... I've had it in since this morning and I still can't get used to it. It's like... my body won't stop clenching around it. I assumed I would've relaxed by now. Ah... I feel so full."_ His eyes were full of what Crowley now realized was arousal, staring at the camera with his lips slightly parted before he broke out of the trance and picked up the pastry box once more as if nothing had happened. _"Not too full for some cheese danish, however!"_

Crowley couldn't believe how quickly the angel's tone had shifted from something so full of pure lust to... well, now that he thought about it, Aziraphale sounded obscene to him no matter what. The demon wasn't going to just let something like that slip. He had this much power at his fingertips and was going to damn well use it.

"I distinctly remember telling you to unbutton your shirt on every livestream. Have you forgotten?" he wrote, a wonderful sensation of what he was sure of pure evil twisting in his belly. Aziraphale chuckled when he saw the message, setting down the pastry to grasp his collar. 

_"Oh yes, I apologize. I got a bit caught up with my-"_

"Who told you to stop eating? Go on, you can do both at the same time." This time the angel looked a little more flustered, looking down at his dessert and back at his hand. He hesitantly picked up the piece once more and lifted it to his mouth, his other hand struggling to unbutton his collar. "That's right, swallow it up. I want to see everything."

Aziraphale groaned as he shifted, his legs packed even tighter together. Crowley could've been imagining it but he thought he saw the shadow of a bulge with what he could make out from here. "Hey now, relax, angel. Spread your thighs a little, won't you? You look so tense."

_"Wh-what? But... it'll fall out, won't it?"_ he mumbled, hesitantly trying to do all three commands at once. His throat was exposed now, and he was busy trying to remember how to use his mouth. There were crumbs falling down on his chest when he finally managed to pop open enough buttons, a distinct flush on the expanse of skin. 

"It won't... not if you do your best to hold it in." he wrote out, biting his lip hard while he struggled to think. There were so many possibilities right now, so many commands he could give, and from how things appeared, Aziraphale would follow any of them. "Might feel big now but if it's your first, but I think you're going to find it isn't nearly satisfying enough in the future. _Feel_ it, angel, really feel how it's opening you up. Training your body to accept even more. To crave it."

Crowley's thoughts were spilling out like he'd opened the door to some of his more mild fantasies, though, in the context of the situation, nothing about this seemed mild. Aziraphale, pure, kind, and gentle, was doing something like _this_. His whole chest was exposed, pink, a large piece of the pastry left forgotten between his lips while he struggled to keep himself steady. His eyes were closed, focused, and there was definitely something swelling between his legs.

"If you could only see how you look right now... as an offering. A piece of Heaven for only my eyes, only my enjoyment." He sent another few thousand pounds... he wasn't paying attention. All he wanted was to see more, to hear more. More Aziraphale.

Aziraphale's arms were behind hid back, trying to hold himself steady while he leaned backward. With the pastry stuffed in his mouth, he looked something akin to a meal ready to be devoured. Crowley wanted nothing more than to reach through the screen and _taste_ him, to lap away all those crumbs and give him something better to swallow. "Want to give one of your new toys a try? How about that blue one right over there?"

_"Oh, you mean this?"_ He picked up the vibrator and squinted at it, only now remembering to gulp down the last of his piece. Crowley looked hungrily at the angel's stomach rolls, thinking how good it'd feel to have them under his hands. _"Hold on, I'll have to put the batteries in."_

Crowley wasn't about to be that patient. He flicked his fingers and the thing whirred to life in the angel's palm, making him gasp in surprise and drop it on his lap. That was a perfect mistake, as it landed right where the demon wanted it.

_"O-oh **goodness**!"_ he yelped, grabbing it away from his groin, much to Crowley's disappointment. _"This one feels more powerful. It feels like there's an entire whirlwind trapped inside this small thing. You're sure about this, dear?"_

"More than sure. If you're alright with it... I'd very much like to watch you come." Aziraphale's eyes grew bigger, darker. He flicked his tongue over his top lip, a motion that riled the demon up further. "Press down there again, gently. Feel the vibrations flow into you, let whatever happens just... happen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying out a new spell checker doohicky and if there's random spaces here and there, that's why. It turns out my default program was doing a shit job of catching errors so I had to use something else, but like I said it tends to leave spaces for whatever reason ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> I just realized, Crowley is 100% a simp  
> Please don't strangle me 😂


	5. Ever Out of Reach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy, thanks for waiting like, 12 years for me to update! 🔥🔥🔥 😅 (yes I hate myself for putting ya'll through this too)
> 
> Well... it's been a crazy, depressing and absolutely anxiety-inducing time for everyone, hasn't it?? 🤮  
> 
> 
> Now that I've given myself some time to calm down after a really hectic semester I'm finally starting to feel somewhat ok again. The joy of writing is coming back to me, as corny as that sounds.  
> 
> 
> Anyway, you guys were _extremely_ patient so here ya go, enjoy some ridiculous pining with a good helping of smut

_"You're sure it's supposed to function like this?"_ Aziraphale mumbled, staring dumbfoundedly at the whirring toy in his hand. _"It seems awfully robust... I'm not sure how this is supposed to incite a pleasurable physical response. I feel as though it might burn a hole through my trousers if anything."_

"Then just take them off," came Crowley's reply. He couldn't believe he still found it in himself to tease like he wasn't just melting onto his seat at the sight of Aziraphale so close to doing something he'd imagined thousands of times over. Of course it felt _wrong_ , but it wasn't as though he could do anything about it now. His knees had gone completely weak, and he wouldn't be able to stand up if a second Armageddon was starting in his flat. 

_"Oh, that's a good idea! Now that you mention it, I have a lot of fabric in the way."_ He started to lift his hand, ready to use a miracle for the sake of convenience, but stopped himself right before his fingers snapped together. Crowley was amazed that _this_ was the thing to make his cheeks go red _."...I was catching a gnat just then, you see."_

Satan, he was a fucking _terrible_ liar. He could hardly resist the urge to use his powers, to hurry things up. He was getting _excited_. _"The computer is in a sort of lopsided position... did you want to watch me undress as well?"_

Crowley nearly broke the keyboard for the second time on his reply, managing to type out what could vaguely be understood as an agreement when he snapped his hands down on the keys. He didn't bother with his spelling anymore; all that mattered was keeping himself from discorporating. There had been many moments thus far he wasn't sure he was going to make it. His hands had lost circulation a few times when he forgot to breathe for too long. Oh, the human body was such a fickle thing. Not Aziraphale's, though. In every form, flesh or specter, he was spectacular.

_"Alright then. Give me a moment to-"_ The screen flickered as he picked the computer up on his end, adjusting a blanket beneath it and angling so that the camera was facing a different direction. The view was familiar, so many piles of musty books as far as the eye could see. It was harder to make anything out with the lamp shining the opposite way now, but the demon could at least make out Aziraphale's silhouette. 

Crowley bit his lip while the angel began taking off his trousers. It wasn't technically the first time he'd seen him do this- _they'd spent time together in ancient Rome for Satan's sake!-_ and he most definitely didn't stare at the angel's legs whenever a bit of bare skin was available, or sneak a chance graze against his ankles when they walked next to each other. There was no reason to be getting this excited.

He flicked his fingernails together and sent a couple thousand pounds. Aziraphale looked like he was trying to hurry, mumbling out a few _"Thank you's"_ and an _"Oh goodness",_ hardly able to keep up with the stream of payments. The vibrator still whirred away on the bed, creating a loud buffeting noise next to the computer, and it was deafening now that Crowley was using earphones. He could use any number of miracles to block the noises from the rest of the world, but somehow this was just more of a... convert operation. Not to mention it felt more real this way, like Aziraphale was talking right in front of him.

_"Dear, try to hold back a little! You must not be thinking clearly if you're giving so much away all at once. Is there some sort of technical glitch going on?"_ He continued to fuss about the damned money like it meant anything, sounding all the sweeter in his worry. Crowley wondered what his own voice would sound like right now; his throat was strangled in the vice grip of a groan caught halfway up.

He felt like after all the time he'd spent- well, fine, he had to admit it to himself at this point- lusting after Aziraphale, it was kind of underwhelming that the only ways he could communicate what he thought and felt were through words on a computer screen. The angel deserved to be showered in praise, song, and poetry, and all Crowley could do was sit here staring at him like a moth to a lamp. What a degenerate he was.

The demon was completely burning up by the time Aziraphale had shrugged the garment down (he could even smell a bit of smoke), now standing in some of the most unfashionable boxers he'd ever seen. It couldn't matter less, as he felt his cock doubling in size at the sight. He sent another thousand pounds, then another, wondering how long he could keep this up before the site blocked him for scamming the system. 

Aziraphale's eyes were wide as saucers, but he was quite obviously hiding a laugh behind his palm. Alright, so maybe Crowley was coming off as the most desperate patron in the world rather than the most well-to-do. It wasn't technically that far from the truth. He was desperate. He clawed into his thighs, ground his teeth, and wondered if he was about to wake up from the best and most vivid dream he'd ever had. It was certainly as torturous as a majority of them.

_"You're certainly eager, aren't you?"_ the angel said, grinning as formally as he could given that he was half-naked and talking to a screen. He swirled the computer back to its starting position, sitting back down. Now that Crowley could see him better, he moaned freely into the air and had to look away for a second, catching his breath before his heart popped from palpitating so hard. 

The angel picked up the toy and studied it, holding it up against his ear to hear the sounds it made, feel the rumble again his cheek. _"I must admit... this is rather cute, isn't it? It feels so smooth again my skin, there's hardly any traction at all. I feel like I could slide it right inside me."_

Crowley made a truly embarrassing, low-pitched growl in the back of his throat when he heard that, still trying to process the weight of the situation. The angel, on the other hand, just smiled and slid the tip of the toy between his lips, wincing as it buzzed over his tongue.

_"See? Hardly any drag at all. What an odd sensation."_ _Satan damnit._ Damn **_everything_ **in sight, this angel was going to kill him, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to get another vessel in time to watch the rest of the show, which would doubtlessly be the worst possible scenario. _"Now then, how would you like me to use this? I'll do whatever you tell me to. You've more than earned it."_

"Hold it aginst yosrselff," Crowley typed in, struggling to make his sweaty fists unlock. Spelling be damned, he just had to vaguely get the point across. 

_"Against myself? Dear, you're going to have to be clearer than that. Where do I hold it?"_ He smirked while he asked, the absolute bastard. He dragged the vibrator across his neck, tilting his head so the light caught around the curves of his Adam's apple, and his throat was clearly visible. It looked so soft Crowley could almost feel the give of it beneath his hands. _"I've never done this before, you know. I'm at a complete loss of what to do. You have to guide me."_

The demon could easily come up with any number of answers. He wondered how the angel's arms would twitch if he barely brushed the toy over his skin in painstakingly slow circles. If his muscles would clench beneath the rumbling, locking into a sweet tension for hours on end. What it'd look like pressed up into his inner thighs, ever so slowly inching closer to where he wanted it by pure instinct.

"Wherever it feels good," was all he got out. He was being given all the power here, and yet when met with such a slew of choices his only reaction was to give it right _back_. "Isn't there somewhere you've strted to feel a little... warmer? Firmer? It mihgt be nice to see what happennns if you touch that area with it."

Why the fuck did he feel so scandalized by the thought of saying dirty things to a **_computer?!_** He couldn't even type out the word "cock". He was starting to question if he even really was a demon at this point.

_"Now that you mention it, I have been feeling a lot of strange sensations down in my genital region."_ He certainly did have a way of making the dullest, most scientifically correct words sound completely tainted when they rolled of his tongue. _"Well then, I suppose I'll just..."_

The sleek blue toy disappeared out of sight for a moment, and Crowley begrudgingly realized the angle of the camera was too high to see what was happening. Aziraphale made a small gasp, and closed his eyes, leaning back a little. _"Oh my, that does...that does feel very odd indeed. You're sure this is alright?"_

"Angel, could you mve the screeeeee..." He gave up finishing that last bit, his arms uselessly limp as he stared at Aziraphale's adorably flushed face, his heart pounding away like a train running off its tracks. He wasn't sure it was such a good idea to clarify, as he came a little the moment the view adjusted to see the angel's growing bulge through the thin fabric. He didn't even know it was possible for his body to react so quickly, untouched on top of it all. As he glanced down at his own effort, impossibly rigid again within seconds, and he knew he was done for. 

The toy slid smoothly down over the protrusion, making Aziraphale create another tiny noise in the back of his throat. He was squirming, trying to adjust himself so Crowley could see everything; he was much better at this than he took credit for, but then again every angle was perfect when it came to him. _"This feels so very strange... I hope I'm doing this right."_

Crowley had restrained himself, well, a little till now, finally letting his hands wander back down to where they seemed to enjoy spending a majority of their time these days. It was a dumb thing to wish for, but he wanted to come at the same time as Aziraphale- if he could hold out that long. To finally let go when he could watch his angel's face.

The angel circled the toy around his bulge, biting his lip. _"What would you do if you were here right now?"_ Well, that was just the _question of the fucking **century** ,_ wasn't it?! 

Crowley growled at the computer, wishing he could throw a pillow at Aziraphale through the screen for turning him into this. There were any number of ways he could answer, and none of them would sum everything up cohesively. He wanted to wrap the angel up in a blanket, scold him because he was much too pure to be doing such obscene things. He wanted to strip that blanket away and fuck him into the mattress till neither of them could walk. He wanted to hold him softly and whisper things against his ear after a long night of snuggling, and he also wanted to spend that night making him forget his own name.

Aziraphale picked up his half-eaten pastry with his other hand and put it back between his lips, muffling a sweet little moan into it. He then took that hand, still coated with a few crumbs, and traced it over his cock; precum had bubbled through the boxers and was now accumulating over his fingertips, glinting in the soft light. He swirled his palm around the bulge and brought the vibrator closer and closer to the tip of his effort, which was straining visibly against the fabric. 

_"You don't know?"_ the angel murmured, taking a small bite into his dessert. He was a living picture of hedonism. _"That's alright. You don't have to respond. I just hope you're enjoying yourself."_

Crowley was both grateful for the escape and disappointed, because there were so many things he wanted to say, but he also couldn't use his fucking hands. _"I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now... I feel so hot. I never knew I could be so sensitive down here. You're sure you want to watch me like this? I must be making embarrassing faces."_

He moved the toy back over to his inner thighs, sliding it around lightly before returning to just tease around his cock, giving it a gentle flick every minute or so. The outline had a thick trail of precum dribbling down, more so whenever the angel's hips bucked forward. _"I wonder what I must look like to you, all exposed like this. I'm glad I don't have a mirror present."_ Crowley didn't even want to _think_ about all the things he could do with a mirror right now, muffling another snarl. 

As if sensing the demon's urgency, he clicked a button on the vibrator to increase the speed, looking a bit surprised when the whir turned into a rumble. He jumped when he pressed it against his cock again, breathing harder. _"I have to admit, this is a very useful thing. I barely have... have to move at all. It's doing all the work for me. It feels quite nice._ " _Quite nice,_ Crowley chuckled to himself, even as he thrust upward into his hand. _"So very nice... I think I'm almost there. No I-I'm definitely almost there."_

He leaned backward and just barely grazed the toy around his bulge, the fabric over it pulled so tight it was surprising it hadn't ripped by now. Crowley willed use back into his vessel, forcing one hand on the keyboard. He wrote, with absolute clarity (for once) "I want you to say my name," and felt damn proud after he sent the message. 

_"C-_ " Aziraphale moaned, on the verge of name that might as well be the most profane word in any language slipped from his mouth. His eyes were so soft, staring directly at the screen, directly at the demon who wanted him.

Crowley leaned in closer to the computer, as if it could somehow help him hear better. His cock burned against his palm, so full it hurt quite badly, but he forced himself to hold out just a little longer. "Come on, you can do it. Say it for me," he typed, hissing the words out loud between his clenched teeth. "I want you to come with my name on your tongue." 

_"...C...CoiledAroundU69!"_ Well. That wasn't exactly what he was going for. Still, seeing that moment of tease, that mischievous smirk melting into his face before he clenched his eyes shut and cried out in genuine pleasure completely did him in. A gush of cum seeped through the angel's boxers, some dripping just over his waistband and onto his belly. His eyes rolled back for a moment before he caught himself and forced his gaze diligently back to the screen, a high-pitched whimper slipping from lips he tried to keep shut.

It was pure debauchery, and no matter how many times Crowley erased his browser history, it wasn't going to be enough. The demon had sinned in a way neither Heaven nor Hell could cleanse through any number of tortures. Whatever punishments he'd earned himself now, he fully deserved it.

Crowley watched the angel even as he followed into his own orgasm, grasping onto anything solid just to keep himself upright. The world swirled around him as blood circulated much too fast to be safe, the pound of his heartbeat and his desperate gasps sounding far off to his ears.

In his haze, he sent another couple million pounds. _Oh_ , that was a mistake, because before he could say or do anything else he received message on the top of the screen that his account was being banned by the system for scam right before the stream automatically closed and he was locked out of the page.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a lil life update, I'll be participating in the Seductive Sins zine in February, so watch for that if you want some of the shittiest-quality smut you've ever read in your life. I'm super hyped about it cause it's my very first zine! 😊
> 
> Crowley rn:  
> 


End file.
